rynnay:

unclewhiskysrevenge:

So, I MEANT to say “oh crap, I left my phone in my car,” but what I ALMOST said was “oh no, I left my cone in my phar,” and damn, wouldn’t that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was

“Ah, my fart cone.”

So anyway

This was a thrill from start to finish

flewor:

“was that awkward eye contact or were we checking eachother out” - a life story

alrightevans:

ive been alive for almost twenty one years and im still…. shocked and offended every time it gets dark at 5pm